Articles on Communication

Are We Sleeping with our Expectations?

May 8, 2012
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Are we sleeping with our expectations of our partner? Is there a day-to-day story (delicately held, away from the light) of the deal we have done to make ourselves feel safe, to complete an old story? In other words, are we willing to investigate; perhaps even to bring our unconscious expectations into the light in [...]

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Revelation and Intimations of a Dark Couple

April 25, 2012
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Gary Shead’s Etching Revelation We recently moved Revelation (image above) to our therapy rooms and it was interesting to do so – we began to notice it more than we’d done in quite a while (having owned and lived with it at home for at least 10 years). Shead’s work presents powerful icons of Australia [...]

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I Want To Build Trust But S/he Is Not Trustworthy

April 8, 2012
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We often see this: the couple comes in to “build trust”. The issue shows up in many different ways. One person may allude to not trusting the other with money, or one person might say “If I am vulnerable it will be used against me later”. And these things may have been true in the [...]

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Are Hormones Making you Fight?

November 29, 2011
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Most of us know that hormones play a big role in how we feel, but we don’t know how or why. We know that men have testosterone and we know about women having their monthly moods… but there is obviously much more to it than that. We want to share a little about how our [...]

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Bert Hoff on The Shadow

November 25, 2011
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In the article Bert Hoff on MenWeb and Fathers we shared Bert’s process around reconnecting to a father we possibly never had or didn’t want. Later in the same talk Bert gave a great summary of a psychological truth that’s been both well and badly described – that being the shadow. So here’s Bert on [...]

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Bert Hoff on MenWeb and Fathers

November 25, 2011
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Here’s a fantastic resource we’ve just discovered, primarily for and about men, but likely of interest to women as well: MenWeb. It’s a sprawling and quirky repository of writings and speakings from over the years, by such original thinkers in the Men’s movement as Robert Bly, Robert A. Johnson, James Hillman, Marion Woodman, Clarissa Pinkola [...]

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Gorilla Consciousness

November 22, 2011
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We recently posted an article on the trio of Attention, Appreciation and Affection from the recent Art of Love 2011 online series. And here’s another snippet from the series that also caught our eyes, from an interview with Gay and Kathleen Hendricks on a common issue for couples: how to break potentially endless cycles of [...]

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Deepak Chopra’s Three “A”s

November 6, 2011
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We’ve started listening to the online series Art of Love 2011 and highly recommend our email readers follow along while it’s still happening. A segment that really caught our attention was in the Kick-off Webinar, where the presenters speak with Deepak Chopra on his three important “A”s of relationships. We share these here as they’re [...]

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Warring Couples

October 2, 2011
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We recently posted The Golden Rules of Relationships which highlighted the importance of feeling our feelings. Another way to say this is “Stop the violence within ourselves”. What violence? That caused by the self-imposed requirement, based on our experience in the world, to push down how we really feel, how we would naturally react. Soldier’s [...]

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The Golden Rules of Relationships

September 25, 2011
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Let’s talk about the Golden Rules of Relationships. These are the “make or break” rules for increasing intimacy. We either embrace them, or the relationship stagnates (or worse). So here they are. Feel Your Feelings Feel your feelings is about checking in with ourselves, finding out what is really going on inside emotionally. This might [...]

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