Articles on Family of Origin

Beyond Narcissistic Wounding

May 8, 2012
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The Barbs and Wounds of Intimate Relationships Often couples come into therapy recounting an argument they’ve had. Each partner valiantly tries to get us to agree that their own position is correct. Well, it won’t work. We’re not there to be adjudicators. Actually, we’re not even there to resolve conflict (which may sound strange, but [...]

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Are We Sleeping with our Expectations?

May 8, 2012
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Are we sleeping with our expectations of our partner? Is there a day-to-day story (delicately held, away from the light) of the deal we have done to make ourselves feel safe, to complete an old story? In other words, are we willing to investigate; perhaps even to bring our unconscious expectations into the light in [...]

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Revelation and Intimations of a Dark Couple

April 25, 2012
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Gary Shead’s Etching Revelation We recently moved Revelation (image above) to our therapy rooms and it was interesting to do so – we began to notice it more than we’d done in quite a while (having owned and lived with it at home for at least 10 years). Shead’s work presents powerful icons of Australia [...]

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I Want To Build Trust But S/he Is Not Trustworthy

April 8, 2012
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We often see this: the couple comes in to “build trust”. The issue shows up in many different ways. One person may allude to not trusting the other with money, or one person might say “If I am vulnerable it will be used against me later”. And these things may have been true in the [...]

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50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

December 12, 2011
Paul Simon - 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

The problem is all inside your head, she said to me The answer is easy if you take it logically I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free There must be fifty ways to leave your lover 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover – Paul Simon What’s the message we’re giving here? [...]

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Bert Hoff on MenWeb and Fathers

November 25, 2011
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Here’s a fantastic resource we’ve just discovered, primarily for and about men, but likely of interest to women as well: MenWeb. It’s a sprawling and quirky repository of writings and speakings from over the years, by such original thinkers in the Men’s movement as Robert Bly, Robert A. Johnson, James Hillman, Marion Woodman, Clarissa Pinkola [...]

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The Perils of Character Development

June 10, 2011

In Gestalt we’re often working with the Here and Now, with what’s arising in the present moment. But of course, what’s arising is often predicated upon our habitual patterns of coping, on our creative adaptations (as they’re termed in Gestalt). These adaptations we consider “creative” because it’s these that have enabled us to accommodate to [...]

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